Order 50 Ltd.

To all the sports fans who hate stats

Take away good numbers and leave the intangibles, and you’ll never have a player worth a damn. Take away intangibles and just leave good numbers, and you have a Hall of Fame career. Numbers matter. More than anything else in sports. Anyone who says different, tell me exactly how you objectively determine Willie Mays was better than Claudell Washington. The “intangibles” are the tools a player has, but the numbers are what he or she actually does. Remove numbers from the discussion about athletic greatness and we’re having a chat about a player’s personality. That’s why a selfish asshole with 500 career home runs is a better player than a sweet guy who can hustle but has a lifetime OBP of .200; a better person, sure, but not a better player.

When they stop keeping score (and determining champions based on that), then I’ll be happy to admit numbers aren’t important. Until then, there is no such thing as professional sports without numbers.

NFL 2010 Season Prediction

This is the result of predicting every NFL regular season and playoff game for the 2010 season. I haven’t done this since the 1990 season, where i came very close, as I predicted Buffalo would win the AFC and that the Giants would lose to the 49ers in the NFC championship, and the Niners would take the Super Bowl. I was off a bit, as the Giants won (by two points!) and went on to win the Super Bowl (by one!). Here’s the way it will wrap up, if my prediction holds:

Division Champions
AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC North: Cincinnati Bengals
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West: San Diego Chargers
Wild Card: Houston Texans
Wild Card: Pittsburgh Steelers

NFC East: Dallas Cowboys
NFC North: Green Bay Packers
NFC South: New Orleans Saints
NFC West: San Francisco 49ers
Wild Card: Carolina Panthers
Wild Card: Minnesota Vikings

Wild Card Playoffs
Houston d. Cincinnati
Pittsburgh d. San Diego
Minnesota d. San Francisco
Dallas d. Carolina

Division Playoffs
New England d. Houston
Indianapolis d. Pittsburgh
New Orleans d. Minnesota
Green Bay d. Dallas

Conference Championships
Indianapolis d. New England
Green Bay d. New Orleans

Super Bowl
Indianapolis Colts d. Green Bay Packers

Who Plays John Galt?

Many actors and producers have talked about adapting Ayn Rand’s classic Atlas Shrugged for the big screen, but 53 years after its publication no one has dared tackle the ambitious project—until now.

No-one has dared to successfully mate a human with a water buffalo, but that doesn’t mean it’s a cutting-edge ingenious idea.

With apologies to Mr Herbert

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

Which reminds me: I will need an umbrella.

Ampersand: The Movie

Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice & Milo & Otis & Harold & Maude & Fanny & Alexander & Batman & Robin & Tenspeed & Brownshoe & Sid & Nancy & Henry & June & Benny & Joon & Bonnie & Clyde & Jeckyll & Hyde & Thelma & Louise & Starsky & Hutch & Tuner & Hooch & Tango & Cash & Stanley & Iris & Romeo + Juliet & Wallace & Gromit & Beavis & Butt-Head & Fat Man & Little Boy & Melinda & Melinda & Akeelah & the Bee & Harold & Lucinda & Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid & Marley & Me

America Will Be!

O, let my land be a land where Liberty
Is crowned with no false patriotic wreath,
But opportunity is real, and life is free,
Equality is in the air we breathe.

–Langston Hughes, “Let America Be America Again”

Taking the “A” Train

It all started this evening with a game of Grand Theft Auto IV.

I was playing the game on my Playstation 3, doing what I normally do in these situations, which is blowing off steam. Antagonize some cops, lead them to the GTA analog of Coney Island and run my dirt bike on the beach, leading cop cars through the pier posts and the rocks. In this game (and its predecessors since GTA 3), you can listen to various “radio stations,” which are really just playlists of various songs, each “station” corresponding to a genre. Lately, I’d been digging on the jazz station, Jazz Nation Radio, because it’s awesome to ride at night through New York, with its lights and population bustling, chilling out to some wonderful jazz classics from the pre-bop era.

At one point, I tired of the chase, but was still really enjoying the riding around, specifically listening to the Billy Strayhorn-penned and Duke Ellington-led classic from 1939, “Take the ‘A’ Train”. It was so nice, and I felt so good about that song in particular, I felt like not playing the game any longer. Weeks previously, I had been watching, piecemeal, the Ken Burns’ “Jazz” documentary via Netflix. At this point, I thought, Why not see if the documentary will cover the history of that song in particular? (which, at the time, seemed perfectly reasonable). So, I ejected the GTA disc from the PS3 and popped in the Netflix disc instead, then loaded up the documentary (I was up to part 3, it seemed).

After a few minutes of watching the birth of the career of Ethel Waters, I decided, with my nervous energy, to go to the circa 1929 Victrola my parents gave me last September, and pull out the old 78s. I figured I could see if my parents had collected any classic jazz records, especially some of the terrific stuff I was hearing on the TV at that moment. I even thought, “Wonder if they have any Duke Ellington,” since I was just listening to some Ellington earlier and I consider myself an Ellington fan. About eight records in, I uncovered the most amazing thing. Continue reading…

The Lost Legacy

It should have been the parallel universe was real (like I mention upthread), and the last couple of minutes would be the Lost crew realizing theyve made it off teh island by never having been on the idsland, but having the relationships, friendships, etc, just the same.

And then credits.

…

And then come the spinoffs:

1. Lost Angeles PD: Sawyer and Miles tackling tough crime in the City of Angels, one a hard-bitten good ol boy with dimples and a biting wit, the other a ghost whisperer. Crime doesnt stand a chance!

2. Dharma High: Professors Linus and Locke try to teach the children of the high school they work for a few lessons about faith, life, and power dynamics.

3. Life of Hurley: Happy-go-lucky millionaire business owner Hugo Reyes (with his best friend Sayid) goes around bringing laughter and insight through his fortune and his big heart.

4. The Widmores: Corporate intrigue with Charles Widmore, his daughter Penny, her husband Desmond, and their willingness to get things done in an unorthodox but effective manner. Also starring Sun and Jin as the ultimate power couple.

5. You All Everybody: The life of a rock star is exciting and unreal, but even more so with a new wife and step-kid. Charlie and his band struggle for fame while Claire struggles to get him to change the diapers once in a while!

One show each weeknight at nine PM. Crossover arcs every once in a while, stretching across the whole week. Get lost with the gangs further adventures on ABC!

Soccer is *socialist*? Um…

I already had this discussion recently at work. And keep in mind, I truly do love American football:

American football has a draft, trading, and a salary cap, in addition to the playoff system that includes a large chunk of the league, thereby giving more teams a shot at the title. International football, by contrast, is PURE capitalism: players go to the highest bidder, players are lent for CASH, and whoever’s on top at the end wins it all.

Which one’s socialist, then?

Response to the Kevin Smith haters

You know what? I like Kevin Smith, I think his movies are funny, and I think his podcasts are funny. Why? He seems exactly like the kind of guy I’d *really* enjoy hanging out with and having a conversation. And his podcasts and movies to me are just that: a conversation. And I love that conversation.

He’s my favorite director because of that. He doesn’t make the best movies, and none of his films are in my top ten (and possibly twenty) of all time, but I always enjoy his films. I enjoy that conversation that we have: similar backgrounds, similar tastes, similar age, similar cultural experiences… these things make up a sort of friendship through the screen. There’s a connection in a real sense because of those things. He doesn’t know who the fuck I am, but I don’t care. He’s a likable guy and we’d likely get along nicely.

So it pisses me off when I see people shitting all over the guy because of the inevitable hipster backlash (“CLERKS IS SHIT”) and not because anyone has taken the time to fucking watch these films. You guys aren’t arguing taste; you’re passing value judgments on those who like (or even, heaven forbid, LOVE) Kevin Smith films. Because what you’re actually saying is *I’m* awful because I like what he does.

I don’t find him egotistical (quite the opposite) or overbearing (I think he’s very enthusiastic in conversation and doesn’t always notice he’s hogging the mic, but when he does notice, he’ll be the first to back the fuck off) or puerile or stupid or whatever adjectives you choose.

So get the fuck over yourselves. He took a second to tell his fans he’s taken stock and is proud he accomplished something that isn’t easy. That, for all the crap he’s endured, all the foul and nasty criticism you fucking hipsters and your film critic ilk have thrown at him, he’s glad he fucking bothered to enter the business in the first place. And he has every right to feel that way.